I Wrote This for You Read online

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  Friday, February 3, 2012

  “But I just want to stop feeling.”

  “As far as I can tell, there’s only one way to stop feeling and that’s to die.”

  “That seems a bit drastic.”

  “It is drastic. Perhaps the most drastic thing there is. There are other ways to kill feelings, like drinking a lot or working hard, constantly, pushing those around you as far away as possible until there’s no way for you to reach out to them but ultimately, the only way to completely stop feeling, forever, is to die.”

  “I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

  “Good. You’ll be a better person for it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that the most interesting, amazing people I’ve ever met, the ones who influenced and shaped the universe itself, are the ones that felt too much but lived through it.”

  “That sounds hard.”

  “It is. It involves living.”

  The Violent Peace

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  Monday, February 20, 2012

  You kill death every day that you live.

  And I do my best to murder hate whenever I have the chance to love.

  The Coming Wave

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  Thursday, May 12, 2011

  You break upon the shore. I will rise with the tide.

  The Truth Is Ugly

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  Monday, March 22, 2010

  In the movies, the person leaving you never has a blocked nose when they cry. And all their tears are pretty.

  The Language Of Stars

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  Tuesday, January 17, 2012

  Love:

  To discover there’s at least one other real person on planet Earth.

  Loss:

  To discover that the aliens, can look just like you.

  The Do Over

  –

  Tuesday, July 1, 2008

  You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in.

  You get a second chance, every second.

  The Scars You Love

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  Monday, December 15, 2008

  There are a million ways to bleed.

  But you are by far my favourite.

  The Salting Of The Earth

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  Tuesday, April 10, 2012

  You should know that there is something worse than hate and that is unlove.

  Because hate is anger over something lost, hate is passion, hate is misguided, it’s caring for the wrong things but it is still caring.

  But unlove, unlove is to unkiss, to unremember, to unhold, to undream, to undo everything that ever was and leave smooth stone behind in its wake.

  No fire.

  No fury.

  Just, nothing.

  And that is worse than hate.

  The Roar Of The World

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  Tuesday, June 28, 2011

  And while it may feel like you’re in a stadium, in front of a crowd screaming that you must die, there are voices in that crowd, if you listen closely, screaming for you to live.

  The Unnoticed, Noticed

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  Monday, February 21, 2011

  You notice someone cutting you off in traffic but not that the Earth is still here for one more day.

  The End Bit Is Animated

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  Thursday, March 19, 2009

  We help people when big things happen to them, when you see them getting hit by a car, when a brother or a sister or a father or a mother dies, we’re there for them because we can see that death kills more than the person it takes. And yet, the people around us who die a little all the time, moment by moment, who require the least help, the smallest sacrifice, are the ones we ignore completely.

  The Turning Of A Sphere

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  Tuesday, May 10, 2016

  Who could I love now?

  Surely, you were both the start and the end of the world.

  The World Whispers Songs Softly

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  Tuesday, February 18, 2014

  At the end of everything, they’ll pull you up and whisper in your ear,

  “Could you hear the music?”

  And so many of us will have no idea what they mean.

  The Words You Lost Between Cushions

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  Monday, July 20, 2009

  I’ll pretend that you mean the weather when you ask me how things are. I’ll say cold.

  The Saying Of When

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  Thursday, June 18, 2015

  When you love like the last good thing.

  When you love and forget every important thing you were going to say.

  When you love and forget everything.

  The Wry Catcher

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  Thursday, January 28, 2010

  If sadness is what happens when you turn your anger inwards, hope is what happens when you turn your happiness, outwards.

  The Truth Is Different Every Day

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  Wednesday, March 14, 2012

  You keep trying to tell the truth about who you are but you keep changing, every time someone listens.

  The Sun Or The Moon

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  Thursday, February 26, 2009

  Things change the way you feel. And things change.

  The Cold Reflection

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  Wednesday, February 19, 2014

  Never complain that you haven’t been given things to say.

  One day the world will destroy itself, and you will drown in the words you didn’t think you had.

  The Illusion Of Things Never Changing

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  Monday, November 24, 2014

  You think, “This is life, this is just how it is and how it’ll always be.” But you are living through something. And while, logically, you must know that there was a time before now, when things were different, and that there will be a time after now, and things will change, it’s so hard to remember right now: Everything will change.

  You are alive in a memory.

  You, are once upon a time.

  The Tales From The Bar

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  Tuesday, September 22, 2009

  You’re just another story I can’t tell anymore.

  The Person Happiness Became

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  Sunday, March 29, 2009

  So if you love me but you don’t need me, you don’t love me.

  The Floor Takes So Long To Hit

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  Wednesday, April 14, 2010

  Congratulations. You took me down. And now, you have made everything that is sad, relevant.

  The Things I’ve Never Seen Or Heard

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  Saturday, January 24, 2009

  I honestly couldn’t care less if you like the same bands or you’ve read the same books. Tell me one original thing, tell me one true, real thing that brings me to my fucking knees that I’ve never heard before and I’m yours.

  The Manic Iridescent

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  Thursday, July 2, 2009

  It’s too easy to lose your mind when you lose your heart. That’s why love is madness.

  The Fragments Of Hope

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  Tuesday, May 11, 2010

  Dear Future You,

  Hold on. Please.

  Love,

  Me.

  Dear Current You,

  I’m holding on. But it hurts.

  Love,

  Me.

  Dear Past You,

  I held on. Thank you.

  Love,

  Me.

  The People We Could Be

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  Monday, January 11, 2010

  Being gifted doesn’t mean you’ve been given something.

  It means, you have something to give.

  The Defect At The Heart Factory

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  Wednesday, February 8, 2012

  There is no heart you can have that another
heart will not have a problem with.

  The Traveller

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  Tuesday, March 4, 2014

  I am just the hand you touch when you reach for the air, I am just the nerve signal, moving along the wires in your body, I am just trying to reach your heart to make it beat, one more time.

  The Frozen Heart Of A Comet

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  Wednesday, August 5, 2009

  You became what you thought everyone wanted you to be. But that’s not who you are. And that’s who I wish you were.

  The Promise Sleep Made Me

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  Monday, April 19, 2010

  Every bed without you in it, is broken.

  The Theory Is Still Just Theory

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  Wednesday, May 12, 2010

  And if I blink my eyes enough, maybe I will wake up and you will still be there sleeping next to me.

  The Rule

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  Wednesday, June 3, 2015

  Here’s what you don’t say, “I sometimes wonder if the universe is a movie and if it’s really all about me.”

  You don’t say, “I am still competing with everyone I competed with as a child.”

  Or, “I fall in love a little with everything.”

  You never say, “I think everyone else knows something that I don’t.”

  Or, “I can be distracted when you’re not here, but not happy.”

  And don’t ever say, “I just want you to cry like I cried.”

  You never say the most important things. That’s the rule.

  The Cold End Of All Things

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  Monday, March 13, 2017

  “Even if you’ve forgotten who you are, you could at least try to remember what you mean, and who you mean it to.”

  “I think I’ve forgotten both who I am and what I mean. And why should I care? Why should any of us mean anything.”

  “You’re just talking now. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

  “What is left to talk about? These are our lives and they have both begun and begun to end.”

  The Love Like Sunlight

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  Monday, April 7, 2014

  I hope one day you get to love someone like you love breathing air or drinking water. Like they are fundamental to your existence, needed and necessary.

  I hope you get to love like gravity loves, like the sun loves the Earth.

  Like warm sunlight upon soil that makes plants grow.

  I hope one day you get to love like that.

  The Beakers I’d Break

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  Thursday, September 24, 2009

  And I’d study the science of you till I turned it into an art. The way your atoms rub together. Molecules colliding. Chemistry building.

  Explosions of heat and radiation. Burning like a star at the end of the world.

  The Fur

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  Thursday, August 16, 2007

  The Page At The End Of Everything

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  Tomorrow

  Here we are at the last page again.

  But we’ve been here before.

  There’s no reason to be sad.

  All the things we’ve done cannot be undone.

  They will always have happened.

  I will have loved you and love you.

  This book will always have loved you and love you.

  And the universe loves you.

  Look how tightly it holds you.

  Thank you for finding me.